How to Give Feedback Effectively

Why is feedback often resisted? 

I often see people get defensive when receiving feedback and shy away from giving feedback.

Feedback is a GIFT.   When done well, it can be a huge support in strengthening a relationship.  

The best way to share feedback is to invite it:

1)  Ensure the receiver is in a good energy space 

2)  Share it soon after you notice the behavior so you have a fresh example 

3)  Don’t direct the feedback at the person, inquire around what you were noticing they might have been experiencing so they have a chance to share their perspective. 

For example, “I noticed you seemed a little uncomfortable in that customer meeting...how were you feeling?” 

This helps make it less personal and the person doesn’t immediately get defensive and feel ashamed that they did something wrong. And any change is more likely to happen if it comes from the person themselves recognizing it and desiring it based on how they felt. 

4) Navigate how you proceed depending on their response and share openly why you are asking #3

5) Ask for permission & start with the positive.

Then, after they share their perspective, see if they are open to receiving some feedback from you on what you observed.  

For example, I love how you opened the meeting by creating some positive energy with the customer.  It made me feel energized too and I felt a greater connection being formed.  Like you just shared with me I too noticed you feeling uncomfortable with the materials you wanted to present.  Is there anything I can do to support you in that prep so you feel more confident in the next meeting?

The key to effective feedback is to create a space where someone doesn’t feel attacked and takes something super personal. 

Couch the constructive in the positive. 

Not shying away from feedback and delivering it well is critical to build trust, connection, grow, and positively move forward together. 

#PersonalDevelopment #Communication #EmotionalIntelligence