11 Lessons from the Camino de Santiago That Transform Daily Life

Walking the Camino de Santiago is not just a cultural journey, it’s a profound path to connecting with your authentic self.  One that inspires many lessons that can have a dramatic impact on your day to day life.

Five years ago, I walked the Camino (aka The Way) for the first time and it was a transformative experience, one that I still feel the impacts from today. I first walked during a time of transition, after the passing of my father and getting unmarried.  Not only did it give me the time and space to mourn and also feel into what mattered most to me to step more into my full aliveness, but it also helped me slow down from the go-go-go of life and learn to appreciate the stillness.  From this place, I developed a deep sense of presence - appreciating the current moments and also an ability to be present in any interaction. This superpower allows me to foster higher quality connections, something I believe to be critical to living our best lives and showing up best for others.

This is what inspired me to share the magic with others, and so I just completed walking a second time.  

This time, I curated a group experience as a “Connection Walk” in collaboration with Red Monkey Walking Travel, who are experts on Camino pilgrimages. Our the intent in their experience was to deeply connecting with ourselves, nature, and others.  After an 11 day awe-inspiring journey, walking and co-guiding a group of 11 wonderful souls on the Camino for over 100 km, I feel a profound sense of peace, strength and inspiration.  

It was nothing short of AMAZING, filled with moments of meaningful connection and growth, and the impact of the Camino goes far beyond the experience itself... 

Here are 11 lessons from the Camino that can transform your everyday life:

1. Embrace Presence

On the Camino, you learn to slow down and appreciate the present moment. The beauty of the landscapes, the sound of your footsteps, and the simplicity of life on the trail keep you grounded.

One morning, I found myself mesmerized by the golden sun over a vast field, its rays casting a magical glow over the dew-covered grass, where sheep grazed peacefully. This simple yet profound moment reminds me to savor the present and always recognize the beauty around me.

Practicing to appreciate the beauty ever-present around us helps us all learn how to be more present in every moment in your daily life, in turn enhancing our well-being and relationships.  Our presence is truly one of the greatest gifts we can give another person, and The Camino is one of the biggest accelerators to cultivate presence.  

Connection Tip: Practice mindfulness by taking a daily 15 minute “Awe Walk”.  Pause and notice your surroundings; ask yourself “What is beautiful?  What is awe-inspiring in this moment?”

2. Cultivate Resilience

One way we trekked from Southern France across the Pyrenees into Northern Spain.  This was an EPIC day with a 4,000 ft elevation change, and also one where the visibility was very challenging.  There were times the fog was so thick, that we could only see what was close in front of us.   Some people feared they might miss a turn and get lost.  This was understandable since someone in the group did take a wrong turn on a previous day when navigating a confusing part of the trail and was temporarily separated from the group.  This was a reminder that we can often face unexpected challenges, like getting lost, which build a profound sense of resilience. 

Sitting in discomfort and figuring out next steps reinforced our ability to handle uncertainty and push through. Just like in our daily lives, we can always choose how we react, remain calm, and trust that we can overcome difficult situations.

Connection Tip: When feeling overwhelmed, take three deep breaths and remind yourself of past challenges you've overcome.  From this place you will be more resourced to start problem solving.

3. Focus on Joy to Overcome Discomfort

We had a big rain day.  At first, I could sense the disappointment and discomfort of the majority of the group.  It’s all about how you look at things!  Despite this initial inconvenience, they soon became an opportunity for gratitude and fun.  As some started to embrace the weather, the rest of the group started to embrace the moment and found joy in splashing through puddles and laughing together.

Instead of focusing on what you can’t control, find something positive in the situation.  This mindset shift is crucial for dealing with any discomfort in life.

Connection Tip: When facing discomfort, ask yourself, "What can I appreciate about this moment?" Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and new experiences.

4. From Fear of Being Alone to Appreciation

Walking alone can be daunting, but it’s also a chance to connect deeply with yourself. Many pilgrims initially struggled with the idea of solo walking, and negative thoughts would creep in like "What if I get lost?" or "Why doesn’t anyone want to walk with me?"

However, these solo moments fostered time for self-reflection that led to greater self-love and authenticity. One pilgrim shared how her solo walks became her favorite part of the day, a time to reflect and embrace her own company. She found joy in the simple act of walking and listening to her thoughts. 

Personally, I love my solo time. Whether it was a moment of quiet contemplation or simply enjoying the scenery, solo time became a cherished part of the journey.

In our daily lives, being alone is often mistaken for loneliness. However, periodically choosing solitude can be empowering. It doesn’t mean we’re unable to connect with others; it means we’re intentionally choosing to spend time with ourselves. 

If you want to connect with people, you can always be proactive and make plans. Yet recognizing the value of alone time is a powerful realization. When we learn to appreciate our own company, we cultivate greater self-love. This self-assured energy enhances our connections with others, making them feel more genuine and less driven by a need for validation or anxious attachment.

Connection Tip: Next time you find yourself alone, shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive activities you can enjoy. Embrace the solitude as a chance to reconnect with yourself and your passions.

5. Connect Meaningfully with Strangers

The Camino creates a unique environment where strangers quickly become friends through deep, meaningful conversations. 

I often sparked conversations with fellow pilgrims by asking, “How are you feeling?, "What inspired you to do this walk now?" or "What's an experience that shaped your appreciation for adventure and personal growth?”  These questions opened the door to rich, heartfelt exchanges. 

For example, one afternoon, I met a fellow pilgrim who shared his story of walking the Camino to honor his recent graduation, which led to a deeply moving conversation about life purpose and living authentically. 

Research shows it can be easier for people to open up faster to strangers.  If you quickly go beyond the small talk with everyone, imagine the powerful connections you would form and the rich and interesting conversations that would transpire.  

Connection Tip: Start conversations with open-ended and heart-centered questions like, “What’s something that has inspired you lately?” to foster deeper connections. Be genuinely curious and listen actively to others' stories.

6. Take One Step at a Time

The overwhelming distance of the Camino becomes manageable when you focus on one step at a time. Each day we walked an average of 22 km.  One pilgrim shared how daunting the 22+ km ahead felt, especially on the days of heat!  But, by shifting focus to just the next step, the journey became way more enjoyable and with this shift in mindset, the time started to fly by!

We often found ourselves breaking the journey down into smaller segments, celebrating each village we passed through. This approach reduces overwhelm.  

Just like in business or life, when we focus on the ultimate desired outcome or goal, it can feel really overwhelming.  Yet when we break things down and simply focus on the first step, it feels way more manageable and we start to fall in love with the process.  

Connection Tip: Break your goals into smaller, actionable steps and to get started, focus on just the first step!  Use a journal to track your progress or celebrate your wins with others along the way.

7. Slow Down to Speed Up

We live in such a go-go-go life that creates this sense of urgency around everything.  Many pilgrims started the journey often trying to rush to reach the final destination for the day, Yet, that is missing the whole point; the beauty is in the walk and the experience, the journey, just like life! 

This dynamic also created significant division within the group. Instead of slowing down to maintain unity with those who walked at a gentler pace, some people in the group hurried to match the speed of those who walked fastest.

Once everyone started to slow together, and take in all the details of the scenery, I noticed how much richer the experience became for everyone; from this pace, big ah-ha moments occurred and powerful “wow moments” of connection were felt.

This situation serves as a poignant analogy for business leadership. As leaders, it's crucial to take the time to explain concepts thoroughly, even if it requires repetition. There's often a tendency to expect immediate comprehension and progress ("catch up!").  Yet, practicing patience and providing support enables team members to learn more effectively and feel empowered by the collective support, ultimately accelerating overall progress.

Connection Tip: Dedicate 10 minutes each day to slow down and be fully present with a specific task or during a conversation. Instead of rushing to give someone an immediate response or answer, pause and ask at least one more question than you typically would.  

Doing so will help you focus on deep active listening.  Through this you will gain more understanding on what that person may really need. This practice can foster more meaningful interactions and lead to more efficient and effective outcomes.

8. Express Your Needs

Expressing needs truly can be daunting for many, often due to a mix of fear, uncertainty, and a desire to avoid conflict or inconvenience. This challenge is universal and spans across various aspects of life, from personal relationships to professional settings.

Real talk: most people are not particularly skilled in expressing their needs in an effective and healthy way.  Many struggle not only with identifying their own needs but also with finding the right words and approach to communicate them effectively. This difficulty can lead to misunderstandings, unmet expectations, and ultimately, strained relationships. Learning how to navigate this terrain with clarity and compassion is essential for fostering healthy connections and cultivating a supportive environment where everyone feels understood and valued. 

On the Camino de Santiago, we learned firsthand the importance of clear and compassionate communication to maximize our individual and collective experiences.

For example, in order to express a need for some solo time, we invited people to say, "I have appreciated walking together and connecting. I now need some time alone. Would it be possible for us to adjust our pace and each take some solo time?", which was met with understanding and respect.

This approach of clear and compassionate communication translates directly into daily life. For instance, if your partner is engrossed in work when you crave connection, instead of feeling frustrated by this, try expressing understanding and your own needs: "I appreciate that you need to focus on work. I have a need for connection.  Could we discuss when you might be free to spend some quality time where we can be present with each other?"  Learning to express our needs clearly and respectfully can prevent unnecessary resentment buildup.

Connection Tip: Expressing needs effectively requires proactive communication and self-awareness.  Start by acknowledging the positives—express appreciation for the connection and shared experiences. Then, clearly use “I” statements to express your needs clearly and kindly, like, “I need some quiet time to recharge.” Encourage open communication in your relationships to avoid misunderstandings.

9. Open Your Heart

Despite all the research out there proving that vulnerability accelerates trust and emotional connection, being vulnerable is often met with resistance.  We can often stay in our headspace sharing “data” and “facts”, such as “today I walked to Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port and I ate local French bread and cheeses.”; compared to a heart-conversation that sounds more like, “today I felt a profound sense of peace and gratitude for my journey.  The day started with me feeling very challenged both physically and emotionally to continue walking, and I questioned why I was doing this to myself!  Yet, by the end of it, I was so proud of myself and learned so much about how much strength I actually have.” 

Throughout the journey, I facilitated numerous heart-centered discussions. One memorable evening, over a shared meal, we explored personal stories around the question:  “What is a challenge you faced that shaped you and what wisdom did you learn from it?”  

These intimate exchanges not only deepened our emotional bonds but also imparted valuable lessons from each person's unique perspective. Even when our experiences differed, we found ways to apply these insights to our own lives.  By the end of the journey, even the skeptics had a profound understanding of why being more vulnerable and how to create a safe space that allows for others to feel comfortable being vulnerable has a dramatic impact on our ability to create meaningful connection. 

In our daily lives, we often miss so many opportunities to foster greater connection.  We let the chit-chat happen and stories in our head rule how we are “not good at being vulnerable.”  Instead, when we simply challenge ourselves to share our thoughts and feelings more openly, and ask more powerful questions that help us learn something new about people we care about, we can always deepen our connections.

Connection Tip: Practice vulnerability by sharing a personal story with someone you trust. Be sure to express what you felt in the moment, a challenge faced, and what you learned.  Telling stories in this framework vs. listing a handful of facts will help the listener be more engaged and will accelerate emotional connection. 

10. Co-create Experiences

Every pilgrim on the journey brought something special to our shared experience, making it truly unforgettable. We believed in the power of each person sharing their voice and their unique gifts. While my collaborator and I provided guidance, we also made sure there was plenty of space for others to contribute their ideas and talents. This openness led to magical moments like soulful poetry readings in our morning circles. 

One evening stands out vividly: one member of our group brought some music and a speaker to our final celebratory dinner.  This led to a spontaneous dance party winding through the streets of Pamplona filling us with so much joy! 

These shared moments of creativity transformed our journey beyond its planned course, deepening connections among our group through collective co-creation. Each person's authentic contribution enriched our experience, fostering deeper bonds and a strong sense of unity among us.

Connection Tip: In an experience, invite everyone to share their ideas and talents to create a more collaborative and enriching environment. Celebrate each person's unique contributions.

For example, at your next social gathering or dinner party, encourage guests to enrich the experience by bringing a favorite cultural dish and sharing the story behind it, or showcasing a talent that adds a personal touch to the gathering. This will make the event more engaging and memorable for all.

11. Engage in Courageous Conversations

Transformational experiences often trigger strong emotions. Addressing these triggers with courageous conversations leads to growth and deeper understanding.

I noticed a lot of people hold themselves back from having the more challenging conversations.  This may be out of fear of how the other person will react or their own fear of openly sharing their thoughts & feelings.  What happens when we don't have these conversations is either more tension and resentment build up, or we spend more energy thinking about what we should do that takes up more mindshare than if we simply had the conversation.

It makes sense, since most people are not trained in how to have courageous conversations in a compassionate way that allows them to speak their truth in a way that reduces tension and fosters connection.  

On the Camino, even simple examples of this came up which is so normal in any group dynamic.  For example, there was a day that some people walked ahead and missed stopping at a break spot we wanted the group to meet at, which resulting in the rest of the plans for the day being affected.  This was a bit uncomfortable for the group.  I appreciated when one pilgrim shared their feelings with me.  A not so kind way of us addressing this would have been for me to say something like, "you should have been paying more attention" versus a more conscious and compassion way of addressing this with "I have a need for clarity.  I am feeling disappointed that we missed having our break together.  Might you share what transpired?  This will help be better understand what happened and co-create a solution together so we can walk with greater ease tomorrow."  While this was a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things, had we not addressed this head-on, it could have had a lasting impact.  Instead, by having a courageous conversation, we were able to quickly address and resolve it, which led to mutual understanding and improvements in communication.

In business or life, we are always up against things that don’t feel right, aligned or a bit sticky.  How we choose to handle these and have a candid conversation matters and dramatically impacts the outcome.  To do this successfully, requires both effective communication skills, self-awareness and patience. Leading with more conscious communication can significantly reduce the chance someone gets their guard up and is defensive. Avoidance is never the answer. 

Connection Tip: When facing a difficult conversation, approach it with empathy and “I” statements, focusing on understanding and co-creating solutions. Create a safe space for these conversations, ensuring both parties feel heard and respected.

I am forever grateful for my time on The Way, for the wisdom my collaborator Rachael shared with us, and for the 11 other courageous souls who joined us and elevated each and every moment of our experience together. 

I believe in investing in experiences.  I learned this value from my late father, who I honored again on my walk this year,  and I have felt the impact of experiences go well beyond any material things I ever bought.  

When we take the time for challenging and transformative experiences, they allow for us to have a much deeper connection to ourselves.  We are more grounded, aligned, clear on what is most authentic to us, and we have a much greater awareness of our feelings and emotions.  From this place, we then can show up much better for others. This is what creates greater fulfillment, joy and aliveness.  

This is the gift that the Camino has offered to so many and keeps on giving, as we all take steps forward every day to live life in its full color and deeply connect with all that is around us. 

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This blog post was written by Lisa Kalfus, a Connection Alchemist, Founder of Firestart Connections and an expert in human connection. As a Certified Facilitator and Conversation Coach she is deeply passionate about helping people create meaningful, authentic relationships by quickly elevating conversations from small talk to real talk that accelerate trust.

Through immersive personal growth & learning experiences, Firestart Connections empowers heart-led leaders, entrepreneurs, teams and seekers to gain social confidence and masterful communication skills to create more connected lives, communities and workplace cultures.

Want some more tips and examples of great questions to ask?  Click here to access a special resource on 3 Simple Ways to Connect Better.  Feel free to share with a friend or colleague this may support!